I think it’s time to face reality

Unfortunately, that reality is that I don’t think I’m going to be able to run a marathon this spring. And that sucks.

You already know about my ankle injury that had me sidelined for 2 1/2 weeks. I adjusted my training to see if I could still fit in all of my long runs while at the same time not rushing my return to running, and while this is possible there is really no wiggle room, no time for any other injuries or distractions from training.

Unfortunately my body seems to have other plans.

Last week I was able to run a total of 15 miles and my ankle felt great. I mentioned in my last post that during my 7 miler my hip flexors were tight and a little sore, and afterwards my “hass” hurt. I took Monday off completely, skipping my planned 30 minutes on the bike, and yesterday I felt much better so I ran 3 miles. I felt great during and after the run (and it was a much-needed run; yesterday was very much a crankypants day), but later that night the hass pain started in again and bothered me all night.

I’m feeling a bit better today but not much. I can’t quite figure out exactly what the problem is. Is it a muscle? My sciatic nerve? Piriformis? It’s a bit vague, moving from my ass to my hip, lower back a bit, hip flexor a touch, too. It hurts in front and back and seems to be worse when I’m sitting.

I had it in my head that this was nothing, that I could self-diagnose and self-treat as I usually do, but if it keeps getting worse I think I need to be less stubborn and face the fact that as much as I hate having to spend the money, I might end up back at my sports ortho for this one.

Regardless of whether I end up at the ortho or this goes away on its own, I think the May 6 marathon is a no-go. If I keep up my training as planned, I will likely end up in worse shape than I am in currently. So I think I need to put my marathon plans on hold for a while.

Depending on what happens with my hass (sorry to keep using my made-up word, I just don’t know what else to call it!), I may still be able to salvage a half marathon. I am already in half marathon shape so as long as I can maintain fitness using the bike and/or elliptical it might happen.

But… but I don’t want to run a half. I want to run a full. I am so frustrated. I really thought I could pull it off this time, after having such a great end to last year. My 2010 injury ruled it out for last year but I really thought 2012 would be the year for my second marathon. The winter weather even cooperated with my training schedule! I eventually want to try a 50K, and how can I hope to do that if I can’t even make it to marathon #2? I didn’t even make it to the long long runs!

I know things could be worse. I know I have plenty of time left to run marathons. And I know that as long as I can run, no matter the distance, I will be happy. It’d be nice, though, if for once things came together the way I wanted them too.

For now, I’ll see how things go. Since it seems to hurt more while sitting and does not hurt while running, I’ll try doing short, easy runs, if that remains pain free, and will take time off from running if it gets worse or starts to hurt during runs. If that doesn’t help, I’ll suck it up and go to the ortho. Because as nice as it would be to self-diagnose, I don’t have any medical training so I am no expert. I’m just a girl who loves to run.

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4 Responses to I think it’s time to face reality

  1. Bari says:

    I understand how you feel more than you could possibly know. ((hugs)) I think you are being realistic about the marathon and not wanting to risk knocking yourself out for longer by pushing it. If your race offers a change to the half, that’s what I’d do. You’ll still probably get a cool medal (I’m a total bling whore) and a half is still something to be very proud of.

    • jte521 says:

      Thanks, Bari. I am not caught up on my blogs yet this week, but hope to get to yours today so I can find out you’re doing. I know you are one person who definitely understands what I’m going through! (Though I really wish you didn’t!) I fortunately had not yet registered for the marathon (in 2008 I registered for my first marathon, then couldn’t run it and lost $$, so now if it’s not one that will sell out I wait as late as I can), and the half is still open, so I can still register for that. And I’m hoping there’s a medal – I only have two (one of the halfs I ran didn’t have medals, boo) and I love medals!

  2. It’s like you and the marathon are separated lovers….some day you’ll run across the field into each other’s arms again. Injuries are SO frustrating! I share your tendency to self-diagnose. If pain lasts more than couple of days I’m searching my symptoms on the internet. I hope your hass problems are the last of this winter’s pains and you’re back to long running soon. For now, it sounds like you’re being smart by taking it easy and modifying your goals. Maybe you’ll be able to run a fall marathon.

    • jte521 says:

      Thanks, Jill. I’m trying to be positive and am looking into other options. I had my eye on a late-November marathon in Florida (in the town my BFF lives in!), and yesterday I was talking with a colleague about the West Palm Beach marathon, which she ran a few years ago and loved. I think it’s in December. So there are options! :)

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