the lazy marathoner

Five Things Friday

Posted on May 24, 2013 by runnerjen521

I haven’t done one of these posts lately and have been a bit absent this week. All is well, just busy. This week is less random than normal but it’s all baby, all the time in my world right now.

1) I’m working hard to get everything at work organized for my boss. We are working under the assumption that anything after June 1 is a bonus, so I have til the end of next week to get all my projects in order. I’m making great progress and honestly think I’ll be done sooner.

2) Swollen feet and ankles are no fun, yo. It’s just damn uncomfortable. J has been great and is picking up the slack at home. He even offered to grocery shop solo tonight (we usually go together) so I can relax. I may take him up on it. I’m supposed to be laying around as much as possible after work and am drinking tons of water. Speaking of drinking tons of water… Getting up to pee every 1-1.5 hours at night is also no fun. No wonder I’m exhausted.

3) My last prenatal yoga class is this weekend. I’m sad. I’ve really enjoyed it, and the women I’ve met. I do hope to keep in touch with a few of them and maybe attend classes again in the fall.

4) Non-baby item: It is supposed to rain most of the weekend. Boo. I really wanted some nice weather so I could lounge around on the patio and get some fresh air. Fingers crossed we get at least one nice day (and that my lounge chair is dry enough to sit on).

5) We were invited to a friend’s annual Memorial Day BBQ on Saturday but I’m going to skip out. It’s a 45 minute drive and J will be going straight there from work, plus it’s outside and the weather doesn’t look great. And I’m lazy. We are also supposed to go to J’s parents’ house on Monday. I will go to that if the weather is nice but I told J that if it’s hot and/or humid I’m staying home. We have central air and they don’t have even a window AC unit and I’m a pampered princess. Plus, oh yeah, I’m 8+ months pregnant so I can get away with this.

Do you have any Memorial Day plans?

Posted in Random | Tagged baby stuff, long weekend, Memorial Day, prenatal yoga | Leave a comment

Things not to say to a pregnant lady

Posted on May 21, 2013 by runnerjen521

I may have already shared my first conversation with this neighbor. I can’t remember, so please forgive me if this is repetitive. I also want to note that I like this person very much and consider him and his husband to be friends. But still, he is an example of exactly what not to say to a pregnant lady!

A few weeks ago I ran into M and S on a walk. We chatted for a bit, and they were very complimentary: “You don’t look like you’ve put on much weight at all,” “You’re all belly,” etc. Then M says, “That’s going to be one huge baby though!”

I laughed it off and said no, she’s measuring right on track, I just look bigger because I have a short torso, but he insisted she is going to be large.

Last night I was on my patio talking to my neighbors, including M. He came around the fence saying, “Let’s see if you got even bigger since I last saw you! Yup, you did!” I laughed it off again, and then he informed me that he thinks I am having twins. Which you may recall from a while back is my biggest fear, next to PB being unhealthy. Twins is something I just cannot afford by any means and the thought of a surprise second baby terrifies me.

This is when I told M I wanted to punch him in the face. Jokingly. Mostly.

He then asked how I was feeling, and I said that other than my swollen feet/ankles I’ve been feeling pretty great. He looked down and said, “You have cankles!”

Seriously? I am really glad I find this sort of thing amusing because some women may have burst into tears at this, and I can’t really say I’d blame them. Instead I joked about how I never knew you could have fat rolls on your ankles until recently. And repeated my threat to punch him in the face.

I also had a Stop & Shop bagger argue with me the other day because she swears I am having a boy. I informed her that the ultrasound showed otherwise, but she says I am carrying like I’m having a boy (which is funny because everyone else says I’m carrying like I’m having a girl, and I’m pretty sure there’s not actually any science behind that anyway). Plus that IHOP waitress in Florida told me I was having a girl because she “can see these things” so obvi that is proof right there. I told the bagger that if the baby arrives and is a boy I will be sure to let her know she was right.

I really enjoy M and think he is a great guy and well-meaning (his words were in no way intended as cruel), but I do have to wonder what he’s thinking. And why the Stop & Shop lady felt that she knew better than an ultrasound. People say the strangest things to you when you are pregnant.

I’m just glad I haven’t had any strangers try to touch my belly. That would not go over well.

What strange things did people say to you when you were expecting?

Posted in Pregnancy | Tagged funny | 5 Comments

36 weeks

Posted on May 20, 2013 by runnerjen521

Wow – 36 weeks.

Four weeks. Less than one month. That’s some crazy shit right there.

According to The Bump, PB is now the size of a honeydew.

She is still the size of a ukelele, according to the The Bump’s “Dad-to-Be Edition” edition.

I finally made J take some photos of me, so I have belly photos without my head cropped out. These are from last Friday, so 35 1/2 weeks.

I took a breastfeeding class at the hospital last week, and while it did offer some useful information I did not find it to be as helpful as the other classes we took. I’m glad I went, though.

We have made a ton of progress with baby stuff. The nursery is almost complete. J still needs to build the bookshelf and we have one art project to create, and that’s about it. Tonight J is going to hang the artwork we’ve already finished. I had a laundry marathon this weekend, and washed all of the clothes, bedding, etc., over the weekend, so everything is clean and fresh for PB’s arrival. Everything is put away, too, in the dresser and closet. I love organizing things, so this was really me in my glory.

The car seat inspection went well and that is all set. J also put together everything except the pack ‘n play (which he will get to soon). So the bassinet, stroller, and swing/bouncer are ready for action (the nursery furniture has been together for a while). My hospital bag is almost all packed. I just have a few more items to add, but the major stuff is good to go. Luckily we live just over a mile from the hospital so if I forget anything J can always run home to grab it.

We don’t want the cats in the nursery unsupervised but we have been letting them in with us on occasion. They walk around sniff everything but haven’t really tried to climb on anything, thankfully. I did have one minor issue on Saturday, though.

Gina squeezed (and I do mean squeezed – I love her but she is quite plump) under the crib and was hanging out, purring. I didn’t think I’d be able to get her out (and was kind of worried she’d get stuck), but luckily she came out on her own after a few minutes.

Challenges
Sleeping – Sleeping has only gotten worse, except now I can’t blame J’s snoring for keeping me up. It’s hard to get comfortable and I wake up frequently to pee. My hips are also bothering me again, so if I’m not waking up to pee it’s to roll over because whichever side I’m on hurts.

Fatigue – Oh yeah, I’m exhausted. I have had some bursts of energy and I’ve been using them to get things done, but for the most part I’m pretty beat. It’s sad to get winded walking up a flight of stairs.

Getting comfortable – I’m having a hard time getting comfortable at all lately. No position is comfy for a length of time so I’m constantly moving around, and my legs get very restless in the evenings, mostly because my calves are so tight. I try to stretch them but it doesn’t seem to help all that much.

Swollen ankles/feet – My poor ankles and feet have been swollen the last week or so. It’s pretty uncomfortable at times. And I’ve never had a fat roll on my ankle before. I’m drinking as much water as I can and am trying to prop them up whenever possible. One of the desks in my office has a ledge under it and for the other I’ve been using my upside-down recycle bin.

Workouts
Prenatal yoga – This week was better than then the last two. I modified the first standing pose and was able to do a few others at the wall without trouble. Then the instructor led a sequence specifically for dizziness, which was great.

Walking – Still not as much as I want, but some. We are supposed to have a lot of rain and thunderstorms this week so I’m not sure how much I’ll be able to get out. Maybe I shouldn’t have canceled my gym membership so soon. Oh well.

Food
Breakfasts – Mostly oatmeal.

Lunches – Alternating between dining hall and leftovers during the week.

Dinners – I’ve been on a pasta salad kick lately. I’ve been making my friend’s super easy (and very tasty) recipe. It involves grape tomatoes, black olives, basil, and sharp white cheddar in a creamy sauce.

Snacks – Fruit, chocolate, popcorn.

Food aversions – None.

Food cravings – Watermelon, Smartfood popcorn.

Things I’m loving right now
Knowing I’m in the home stretch – I have really enjoyed being pregnant but I’m ready to meet PB!

My yoga friends – A few of us have gone through both 8-week sessions together, and I have gotten close to one girl from this session. We are all due within a few weeks of each other (there are four of us, ranging from 35 to 38 weeks) and we all live nearby, so we have exchanged numbers and plan to stay in touch and have baby play dates (and mommy trips for fro-yo or cupcakes!)

My yoga instructor – She was so thoughtful to do the dizziness sequence for me, and has been wonderful in general. She let us know that we can continue to attend this class (it’s actually called “Prenatal and Women’s,” not just prenatal) after our babies arrive, and says that she has tons she can do with us as new moms. She is a mom of two young children so she’s been through it herself and has been a great resource.

J’s shirts – I wear my nice maternity shirts during the day, but I had been wearing race tees in the evenings, and those have gotten quite… snug lately. I’ve taken to wearing J’s shirts, which are really soft and roomy.

My friends, family, and colleagues – I know I shared this already, but J and I are truly so touched by the incredible generosity that has been shown to us, especially at my two showers.

Posted in Pregnancy | Tagged baby shower, nesting, nursery, pregnancy, prenatal yoga | 4 Comments

Feeling very grateful – baby shower #2

Posted on May 17, 2013 by runnerjen521

My coworkers threw me a wonderful baby shower this morning, and I am incredibly touched and overwhelmed by their generosity.

The shower was organized by my boss, who I’ve mentioned before is fantastic. We have worked together for 4 1/2 years and I couldn’t ask for a better or more supportive person to work for. I have worked with most of the women (and two guys!) who attended for a long time as well, and they are a great group. I am very fortunate to work where I do.

I am still astounded by all of the gifts I received. There is very little left on my registry! In addition to tons of smaller items (receiving blankets, sippy cups, car mirrors, toys), I also received several big ticket items I had really been wanting, including the Graco Duo 2-in-1 swing/bouncer:

And the ErgoBaby carrier with infant insert:

Several mom friends have told me the Ergo is the best carrier so I am very excited to have it, and am equally excited about the swing/bouncer – I love items that multitask!

I have several bags stuffed full of baby gifts in my trunk, as well as a gift card to use towards the few remaining items on my registry. J is going to be shocked when he sees everything!

In addition to the very generous gifts, the party also featured an adorably creepy fondant baby on the cake.

We all agreed that it was awesome in a semi-disturbing way.

I truly am so grateful for the generosity and thoughtfulness of my wonderful coworkers (and of my friends and family from my previous shower, too, of course!). I am a lucky girl to have so many amazing people in my life – and Penny Bazinga will be, too.

Hope everyone had a fantastic Friday and has an awesome weekend planned! Mine will be spent putting away baby items and doing laundry – and I like it that way.

Posted in Pregnancy | Tagged baby shower | 4 Comments

Another controversial topic: stay-at-home moms vs. working moms

Posted on May 14, 2013 by runnerjen521

Last week I posted about changing your name and how it isn’t a sign of feminism (ok, to some people it is). I enjoyed the comments as well as Kara’s post on the topic, and all the comments on her blog as well.

I thought I’d throw out another controversial topic that’s been on my mind: the apparent battle between working moms and stay-at-home moms. It’s been on my mind even more recently since J heard someone on the radio (someone who called into our local station, not one of the DJs) say that only stay-at-home moms deserve to be celebrated on Mother’s Day; working moms don’t count.

I’m not a mom yet (just over a month to go!), but when I am I will join the working mom camp after 12 weeks of maternity leave. Is this my ideal? Nope. If we were financially able I would love to work part time, say 20 hours/week or so. I love my job, but I’m also pretty sure I’m going to love the crap out of my kid (I do already), and the thought of spending so much time away from her breaks my heart. However my reality is working full time, so I need to make it work. Luckily I will be able to modify my hours slightly to have an extra hour with PB after work.

I see snarky comments from both sides on baby boards and mom boards and I don’t get why women have to be do critical of each other for what is a very personal choice (it’s like the breastfeeding vs. formula feeding battle – a topic for another day, perhaps?). SAHMs criticize working moms for leaving their child with someone else, putting a career first, etc. Working moms criticize SAHMs for being “just a mom” (such bullshit – “just” a mom?) or for not being feminist enough (again, here we go with the feminism issue).

I do think there are benefits to both options. Obviously being able to stay at home with your kids is great. You know they are getting the best care possible and you get to share in their day-to-day accomplishments and milestones, which you may miss if at work. However I do think day care has great benefits, too, such as socialization with other kids. You can do this as a SAHM too, of course, but it is a benefit offered by day care on a daily basis. And some studies show academic benefits later in life linked to day care in the early years.

There are, of course, drawbacks to both as well. I thought this was a thoughtful post on some challenges of being a SAHM. I try to never say “must be nice” regarding someone’s ability to be a SAHM because I realize that most likely they are making sacrifices to do so. It’s not that I’m unwilling to do the same but rather that the sacrifices I’d have to make simply aren’t possible at this point – for starters, we’d need to sell our home and move somewhere much cheaper, and since our house is currently worth about $60,000 less than we owe that’s just not happening. We also depend on my job for medical benefits, which aren’t offered by J’s employer.

On the flip side, this discusses the challenges faced by working moms, and this talks about “working mom guilt.”

Most of my friends are working moms, and they say that having “adult” time at work makes them better moms. I know a few SAHMs who are completely fulfilled with their kids and don’t feel the need to work. I also have one friend who seems to have the best of both worlds: she’s mostly a SAHM but works a few hours one weeknight and on Saturdays. She gets her “me” time in a professional environment, but also spends a ton of time with her kids. Seems pretty great to me!

The other thing that pisses me off about this is the utter lack of discussion about stay-at-home vs. working dads. Dads can do what they want without criticism; moms can’t. That doesn’t make sense to me (and that gets the feminist in me ticked off).

Only time will tell how I adjust to my role as a working mom, but for now (and I don’t really see it changing) my opinion is that there is no right or wrong choice for everyone, rather the decision to work or stay home should be personal and based on what is best for your family. People (women and men) should focus on being more supportive of one another rather than ripping others apart for doing the best they can in their given circumstances.

And to the woman who said only SAHMs deserve Mother’s Day? Eff you. Any mom who busts her butt to do the best she can for her kids – whether it’s working outside the home or working as a SAHM – deserves to be recognized.

Some day maybe I’ll do a post on what I think it means to be a feminist. Hint: it’s not about hating men or judging other women.

Posted in Other | Tagged Parenting, SAHM vs. working mom | 14 Comments

Nursery art project

Posted on May 13, 2013 by runnerjen521

I miss the days when I got to actually write about running, but at least I’ve had this whole baby thing to fall back on in the meantime. I feel I’d be too boring otherwise (or maybe I’m already too boring?). Anyway, I’m having tons of fun getting the nursery ready and thought I’d share another project.

J and I had a goal to create most of the art for Penny Bazinga’s room ourselves. We had one piece already (a cross-stitched butterfly my grandmother made for me years ago that matches the colors perfectly) but we wanted to create other unique items ourselves. J completed the first project, the painted wood initial a la Pottery Barn Kids, and this weekend I made the second.

I was inspired by this piece I saw on Pinterest:

It seemed simple enough: get a punch from the crafts store and select several different patterns of scrapbook paper, attach to paper, done. It also seemed like an easy way to customize a project – just pick colors that match the color scheme. I decided to make two, one butterflies and one hearts, using the same papers in both to tie them together. I plan to hang them above the glider.

This was actually pretty easy to make. The punches in the original project must have been larger than those I used and/or the frames were smaller but I am thrilled with the results! We haven’t hung them yet but I think they look great.

We have two projects left: bookshelf (J is building) and some sort of pallet art. I can’t decide what to paint on it and J hasn’t been helpful. He vetoed the idea of a heart (says it’s too similar to what’s in our room) and I’m not talented enough to pull off a butterfly. I’ve been trying to find a stencil but haven’t had any luck locating one that large. So that project remains TBD for now, but we need to decide soon as I want to have everything finished within the next two weeks (when PB will be considered full term at 37 weeks).

35 week belly shot:

In other news, J installed the car seat into my car and we now have a crib mattress (and I didn’t have to have another battle with those shitheads at Babies R Us) so we are making progress. I am in the process of washing all the bedding. Next steps: assembling the bassinet, building the bookshelf, finish laundry (which seems endless but I guess I need to get used to that).

Posted in Pregnancy | Tagged nursery. nesting, Pinterest | 4 Comments

The name game

Posted on May 10, 2013 by runnerjen521

I know you think I’m going to write about choosing a baby name, but I’m not. Instead I’m going to talk about my name – specifically my last name.

When I got married (8 years ago this month!), I did not want to change my name. However it was important to J that we have the same name. He offered to hyphenate, take my name, or even create a new name by combining our two last names. Because it was so important to him, I elected to take my maiden name as my middle name and take his last name, simply because it is easier for a woman to change her name when getting married than a man (dumb, right?).

I’ve kind of regretted this decision ever since. Why?

1) My married name is constantly misspelled and mispronounced. My maiden name is easy to both spell and say.

2) I hate when things come addressed to “Mrs. Joel E.” Why not Mrs. Jen E? Why base my identity on my husband?

3) I still think of myself by my maiden name. Even though it’s been 8 years I still don’t feel like E is my last name.

4) I feel like as a proud feminist I should have kept my maiden name. – Edited to add: This feeling really only comes from outside influences, like when a friend’s wife went off about how she’d never change her name. It makes me feel inadequate in my feminism somehow. And it really shouldn’t. As Kara pointed out in her comment, keeping your maiden name is still a man’s name, just your father’s instead of your husband’s.

I always said that if we had kids I’d hyphenate and give our child the hyphenated name. J is fine with this and even planned to hyphenate himself, so we’d all be the same. When I found out I was pregnant I researched the name change procedure in Connecticut, and even printed out the paperwork filled it out (for myself and for J).

But – I never went through with it. And I’m not going to. I thought it through and realized a few things:

1) Hyphenating won’t solve the issue of my married name being spelled or pronounced incorrectly.

2) Mail will still be addressed based on my husband’s name, it would just be “Mrs. Joel T-E.”

3) My daughter would be saddled with a hyphenated name, which some acquaintances (with hyphenated names) have told me is a pain in the ass.

4) I don’t feel like spending $300 ($150 for each of us) to do this.

5) Changing your name is a royal pain in the ass, and I still find things in my maiden name. I don’t really feel like going through that process again.

Yeah – I’m sure it’s that easy. And free.

6) I am no less of a feminist because I took my husband’s name, and I can teach my daughter to be a feminist in other, more important ways.

Part of me wishes I had kept my maiden name in the first place, but mostly I am fine with my decision. So Baby E will be Baby E, and not Baby T-E. And that’s ok.

Did you change your name when you got married (or do you plan to)? Why or why not? Are you happy with your choice?

Posted in Other | Tagged Names | 8 Comments